An open letter to my fellow professionals with an immigrant background

I wanted to share some tips and guidelines that have helped me as an immigrant in Norway and hopefully will be useful for others.

I am aware that I am addressing a relatively small and diverse group. Some of you may have arrived in Norway only recently while others have been here for a very long time. Maybe you are frustrated with your stay in Norway or maybe you have easily slid into a comfortable living here. My purpose is not to judge or discredit your personal experiences, but rather share principles and practices that have served me well through nearly 30 years in Norway.

I am not going to discuss systemic problems like racism and discrimination in Norwegian society here. That is an altogether different discussion, which will take its course. As an individual, I believe in focusing on things that I can do and control myself. This is a value that underlies all the recommendations in this post.

“Where do you come from?”

I grew up in India and moved to Norway as a student to do a Masters and PhD at the University of Oslo. I have now lived longer in Norway than in India. I am often told that I have done well for myself — academically, professionally and socially.

None of these achievements came easy. Yet, despite all the struggles that life entailed, I have almost always felt content and at home in Norway. Lately, I have noticed that I am rarely asked the question “where do you come from?”. I have almost forgotten that I am not born or raised in Norway. In other words, if you feel annoyed by people often asking you these types of questions, there is hope.

Here is a list of some guidelines, principles and values that I have followed. Some came easy to me and others I have gradually adopted through my own experiences. Most of these could be considered a common sense. Yet my own experiences and interactions with people tell me that common sense may not be very common, especially when you are in a new setting and context.

A core value that I stand by is that no one else but you and you alone are responsible for realizing your own potential and leading a good life. If your family, friends, workplace, neighbours or government help you out, that is nice — and you should be grateful and feel obliged to make the most of it.

Talk Norwegian to me, please

First things first. If you are planning to stay in Norway, make a serious and sincere effort to learn Norwegian — even when you think you are getting by fine with English. You miss lots of information and potential opportunities by sticking to English. For me, this is also a matter of showing respect. Staying here year after year without making any effort to learn the local language and expecting everyone to accommodate you is, frankly, selfish. Besides, with English, you can only get ahead to a certain point and no further. Close friendships and a sense of belonging will only follow if you speak a language that people around you feel at home with.

Tolerance and generosity is a two-way thing

People have different experiences when it comes to racism and discrimination. Experiences may vary depending on where you live and what you work with. I have never experienced any racism in Norway myself. I realize that this may be because my social- and professional circle has mostly consisted of highly educated and well-travelled people who are used to interacting with people of diverse backgrounds. I understand that the experiences of a dark-skinned male whose job involves daily interaction with the general public may be different.

Yet, there is a difference between experiencing discrimination and merely thinking that people tend to stare at you and assume things about you. You have to learn to differentiate, see nuances and grow a thicker skin. Having prejudices towards the unknown is a normal human reaction and a universal thing. It is not as if there is no racism or discrimination in the places where we come from either. For example, I receive a lot of stares and comments when I am travelling to India with my Norwegian husband. It is a known fact that the more people interact with people who are different from themselves, the more easy interaction gets. Racism and discrimination should not be tolerated under any circumstances regardless.

Proper clothing is a key to success

Norwegians are in general very proud of Norwegian nature and their outdoor activities. Embracing some Norwegian ways is an easy way to feel part of the community. If it comes naturally, good for you. If not, you will fare better if you make an effort.

For me, an appreciation for Norwegian nature and outdoors activities came gradually. I despised skiing but loved hiking in the forests and mountains. However, I was always cold because I did not have the proper boots and clothing. What a waste, I realize now. I wish I had learned earlier that you are more likely to enjoy the outdoors if you have proper clothing and gear. This is an investment worth making. Ask your native Norwegian friends or colleagues for guidance when shopping.

People with minority background have to work harder than others and that is the way it is.

As an immigrant, you are more likely to get noticed and remembered, simply because you may look different than your native peers. This can be an opportunity if you are prepared to work harder than others. People, in general, gravitate towards what they know and trust, so making them choose something different will almost always require an extra effort. The opposite is also true: if you make a mistake, you are more likely to be judged harder than everyone else. This may sometimes seem unfair, but that is nevertheless how it is.

Be curious and prepared to take initiatives

Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, you should aim to nurture your curiosity. Ask questions (not very personal ones, or at least not too early) and show a genuine interest in people and how and why things are the way they are. Everything gets easier once you can have a dialogue and build relations with people around you. This, in turn, creates intimacy and trust. The conversation does not always have to be about where you are from and how different things are here compared to there. It can, of course, be a starting point, but as a regular conversation theme, this can get quite boring in the long run.

In my experience, Norwegians are good at lots of things, but not in taking the initiative. This is the part that you can be good at. Believe me, it will be appreciated. Taking the initiative does not always have to be about inviting people out for dinner or drinks. To begin with, it can also be about smaller and simpler things, such as asking your colleagues to join you for a short break from work, a walk around the block, etc.

Would you like to be around people who constantly whine and complain?

Among some of my immigrant acquaintances, I have noticed a tendency to constantly criticize and complain about all sorts of things in Norway — including on social media. The complaints can revolve around both trivial things such as food, language and customs etc., and societal matters such as education and politics. It is particularly painful to listen when the criticism turns into a mockery.

This tendency is strange considering that many of my acquaintances have been living in Norway for some time and seem to be doing well. It appears that they have slid into these conversation themes without realizing how they are perceived by others. I find this most annoying and sometimes embarrassing, and I know that I am not alone in feeling this. In response, I sometimes ask: how do these things work in the place where you originally came from? Or: what do you think is the solution or what can you do to help solve the problem?

I am not advocating that you fake a positive attitude, and challenges must be addressed to get solved. My point is that absolutely nobody likes to be around people with excessive and constant negativity. Like anything else in life, you are better off with keeping a balanced view of things. There must be many things that you appreciate about Norway. Talk about those as well from time to time.

Avoid using Immigrant label on yourself

Throughout my career and social life in Norway, I have been conscious not to label myself a non-western immigrant, a female physicist, a female immigrant in tech, etc.. This is because I have a strong conviction that it is better to define yourself by what you do, how you do it and what you stand for, rather than solely by your demographic profile, skin colour or heritage. Your deeds and achievements are what builds self-confidence and pride, which in turn creates a better foundation for an equal and just society.

It is hard to miss out on all the discussions currently unfolding in the Norwegian media regarding diversity gap in professional and public space. This is an important discussion driven by good intentions. Yet, any improvements towards filling the diversity gap will take time.

While waiting for some systemic changes, I believe in doing what we resourceful people can do individually. This includes working harder, achieving success and taking positions that can help us contribute positively to the system. Most important of all, we need to be aware of and work against our own biases when meeting and hiring new people.

Don’t shy away from media exposure when you have the right reasons

As a professional, sometimes you may feel the urge to express your opinions. Norwegian media, on the other hand, may seem to be full of the same type of ethnic Norwegian profiles. However, in light of the current public discussions on the diversity gap, the Norwegian media is also looking for different success stories. So if you have done well in the past or your current position, do not hesitate to use your success as a basis to express your opinions. This will open new doors with good exposure and opportunities for you.

Focus on one-on-one networking

I observe that professionals with an immigrant background, in general, need to be conscious of maximising their skills at networking. It is yet important to be genuine in your curiosity towards people. Avoid wasting time and energy on networking randomly. Rather connect with competent and sympathetic people you admire for advice. I can not stress enough the value of getting yourself a good mentor. Connect with the right people with the right qualities and network and opportunities will most likely follow.

Good luck!